The Funniest Product Bonus Add-onsAugust 13, 2021
Sometimes things can get a bit too serious when it comes to Christmas, birthdays, or just buying a gift for the sake of it, and agonizing over what present to buy can be a difficult dilemma to resolve. In such a situation, you might be better off going for something light-hearted and fun. If that sounds good but you're unsure where to start then simply consult our cunningly compiled list of the best bonus products and add-ons that can make life a little better, and funnier, from stuff for cat owners to the man (or woman) who would be Wolverine. Usually these sorts of random but exciting bonus products are only offered by online casinos.
The Pointless/Useless Box
One of the strangest entries on this funniest bonus product/add-on list is undoubtedly the useless box, which is sometimes referred to as a pointless box. It's a perfect gift for people with a slightly quirky sense of humor (or someone you're obligated to buy a present for but don't really want to...). So, what is it? It's a box. Which is pointless.
Different models might work in slightly different ways, but generally the useless box's main function is to turn itself off. The buyer spends their time constructing the box (if you buy a DIY version), installing any batteries and having a pretty trim looking box with a switch on top. Flick the switch and the lid will open. Magnificent! Only then the lid will close itself, perhaps due to force of gravity alone if the switch is mechanical in nature, or by a battery-powered arm emerging and nudging the switch back into the off position. It's the work of a second or so from flicking the switch to the box's arm defiantly turning itself off.
This might all sound rather pointless. And it is. Whether it's just an offbeat device for people with a twisted sense of fun, or for people with time on their hands, or a surprisingly insightful look into what humans do for fun is open to debate (how many hours are spent watching men run around on a large patch of grass, or fictional doings on the moving picture box?). What is not a matter of debate, however, is how popular the pointless box is. Right now there are multiple variations readily available to buy, and the popularity makes it likely that new variations and similar products on the same theme might be heading down the track. Just hope no-one combines it with an alarm clock that automatically cancels the snooze button, which would be a guarantee of buyer's remorse (or possibly a perfect gift for the in-laws).
For practically the entirety of human history, cats have been a beloved pet, with dogs their only rival for the collective affection of mankind. Of course, there are some pretty big differences. You don't have mountain rescue cats or guide cats (at least, not if you want blind people to avoid accidents) but what cats do have over dogs is a great degree of independence. They were held sacred by the ancient Egyptians, and the Romans considered cats to be the most free of all animals.
So if you're one of the hundreds of millions of people worldwide who have a pet cat (or whose cat has a pet human) then the cat hammock might be the silly but also surprisingly useful item you're after. Taking advantage of the latest in technology for pampered felines, this bonus add-on/product occupies very little space and can take a decent amount of weight (it varies from one model to the next but around 50lbs is entirely possible). So even if your moggy is a mighty Maine Coon (which tend to get up to around 25lbs) it should be strong enough for a cat nap.
The cat hammock is a funny item but also of great practical use, especially for those who have relatively little space. Suction cups securely attach it to a window, offering a combination of a great place for your pet to laze around and enjoy a view of the outside world. But even if you have plenty of room, cats are never reluctant to take advantage of a new place to lounge around. The ropes should be strong enough (steel wire, for example) to resist a cat's innate destructive streak (safeguarding not only the hammock itself but the cat accidentally sending itself tumbling to the ground).
Take the sting out of a minor wound with some timeless quotations from the bard himself. Depending on where in the world you're from you might know these as band-aids, plasters, or bandages, but whatever the terminology it's all the same ("a rose by any other name would smell as sweet"). This funny bonus product has add-on quotes from William Shakespeare, replacing the bland and boring band-aids/plasters/bandages that do the job but do nothing to raise a smile. You may also sometimes find this product available with a free coupon depending on what time of year it is.
Never has the line from The Merchant of Venice "Prick us do we not bleed?" seemed quite so appropriate. For those wondering, the quotations are selected more on the basis of amusement than deep meaning, so don't expect the full Hamlet speech. However, Shakespeare has some cracking jests, such as "Thy breath stinks with eating toasted cheese".
There are a number of other similar fun gifts and fans of bacon can even get bacon bandages (although if you've got a burn that may not be a welcome sight). On the quotations side of things, another fellow who had a good line in long-remembered remarks was a carpenter by the name of Jesus, and bandages adorned with his delightful visage may help bring the holy power to healing your ailments (although a place in Heaven will be rather harder work).
Shakespeare quotes can also be found, beyond the obvious venue of his plays, emblazoned across t-shirts and in special compilation books. And if it's a party gift you're after then Bards Dispense Profanity (the Cards Against Humanity style game with an added dose of Elizabethan England) might be just the ticket. But don't complain if you end up receiving Cupid's butt-shaft.
Cook like Wolverine
Although debate may rage, deep down we all know that Wolverine is the best member of the X-Men by a long way. With an invincible skeleton thanks to the adamantium enhancements and claws likewise made of the same incredible metal, not to mention a bad attitude, Hugh Jackman's portrayal helped make him a lynchpin of the recent movie franchise. And, while you can't use Professor Xavier's mind powers, or control metal like Magneto, you can buy yourself some Wolverine-style meat shredders and combine cooking with indulging in a just a spot of superhero fantasy.
Luckily, no actual adamantium claw surgery will be needed. All you have to do is grab the handle and use the three knives built into it to lift and shred the meat of your choice. Roasts and larger cuts of meat are the best options, and just a few minutes is needed to shred roast pork into pulled pork. And they're easy to clean, as they're dishwasher friendly so you don't have to wash and dry the multiple blades by hand. They're also very well-suited for those with larger hands, for whom alternative models might be a bit on the small side. There are other, but less cool, meat claws which can be found so just like you would wiith the best real cash casino bonuses, make sure to shop around and find what suits you best.
For carnivores, these are practical, easy to use, and straightforward to wash. But if you happen to be putting together a Halloween costume, or are into cosplaying, then they're perfect for completing your Wolverine look (although be very aware that these are designed to be used in the kitchen and are sharp. You may want to apply some putty or suchlike to make safe the sharp edges if you go down this route, or just buy safer plastic costume versions to cut down the risk).
The Mobile Phone Jail Cell
Ah, the mobile telephone. So universal. So useful. So incredibly annoying. Yes, mobiles are very handy in everyday life and it'd be strange to think of a world without them but they've also made it possible to be chained to work, and annoyed by total strangers via scams. Even legitimate texts can be seriously overdone and turn the mobile phone into an instrument of perpetual aggravation. This can be vicarious too, with a significant other getting frazzled but feeling unable to ignore their mobile in case something important occurs. Mobiles are immensely useful but they can also make people pretty angry when they won't shut up. And that's where the mobile telephone jail cell fits in.
Incarcerate the mobile menace in this fun little bonus product, with padlock add-on to help keep the pesky blighters under lock and key. Whether deliberately giving yourself a time out or sparing a loved one from repeated annoyance, it's perfect. Not to mention it can be used when someone just won't take their eyes off their phone and actually engage with the people in the same room as them. In addition, it's big enough to easily house half a dozen mobile inmates.
As any criminal psychologist will tell you, deterrence is a big part of the judicial system. Sometimes, just having this fun prison hanging around is a good way to gently remind those with whom you live that overdoing the texting can lead to consequences. Or, it can just be a convenient place for everyone to store their mobiles (just be careful nobody locks the cage and then forgets where the key is, though. Losing access to one mobile is unfortunate, losing access to everybody's might just cause a little bit of domestic tension. But if you also bought the Wolverine claws they might be perfect for slashing your way in).
Everybody needs cheering up sometimes, whether you're buying yourself a funny bonus product or add-on, or getting a gift for kith or kin to raise a smile. Don't be afraid to treat yourself with something silly, for life without laughter is like a broken pencil. Pointless.